Ok so here is the story.  Thursday January 25, 2007 I’m coming home from my final class of the day at college and head onto the bus.  I sit at the back of the bus and another guy sits a few seats away from me I think nothing of it at the time and start listening to my mp3 player.

While I’m waiting for the bus to leave I see that he takes out a hardcover book and also think nothing of it at the time.  As time progresses and we still have yet to depart for the half hour ride I look over to see what class the textbook is for, because come on what else would a large hardcover book be?  Imagine my surprise when I discover that he is reading a hard cover strategy guide for the “World of Warcraft.”  Now I have read a few strategy guides in my day and they almost always were kept with the game they were played with in case they were needed, but not this guy, because he is apparently so hardcore he studies up on game tips and secrets WHILE he is away from his computer just so he can jump right in and make piece with two warring elf tribes or whatever the fuck you do in that game.

I at this point in time turn my head away from him and look out my window, content to believe “to each his own” and let min enjoy his game book.  But then as the song on my mp3 player ends I hear a fairly loud guitar before my next song comes on.  Curiosity gets the better of me and I try and figure out where it is coming from, not the speakers on the bus so I look around and see the guy from before playing air guitar on his Warcraft book while rocking out to his ipod cranked up to its maximum volume so that I could hear it from 3 seats away.  My pity for this poor man turns into almost embarrassment and then to a bit of anger.  “Doesn’t this ass know I’m trying to listen to Lover Boy’s Working for the Weekend over here?” I ask myself.  So I turn up my music and take a better look at this person who I determined is most likely mildly retarded.

Firstly he looks like that blond fat kid from Bad, Badder and Baddest Santa only his proportions are enlarged to the point that he is about 5 foot 6.  He has a trucker hat on, you know the kind where it has some itchy mesh back and looks ridiculous.  And on the front of the hat it says “TAPS” so on top of all his previous faults he thinks he is a plumber who then believes he is a Ghostbuster.  He kept on switching his hat from facing forward to backwards throughout the trip as well as reading his book and rocking out by banging on the empty seats and window of the bus in off beat of his ipod.

At the end of the trip I see my stop coming a block away and am almost disappointed because this overweight spaz proved to be interesting to say the least.  But as we near my stop and are about a block away we hit a red light and stop, he stands up indicated he will be getting off too.  Now I know better than to stand up on a bus without holding on to something and I assumed he knew this as well.  As the light turns green the bus goes forward and his ass falls backwards like a sack of potatoes, guess they never taught you how to stand up on a bus in that Warcraft strategy guide.

We are now at our stop we leave, he goes into his pocket and grabs his keys and proceeds to throw them into the air and catch them in what he must think is a cool move.  And at the stop there is a huge snow bank that is about his height and 3 feet from that is a part worn down because everyone has walked over it.  He apparently could not wait for the 5 people in front of him to walk over the lower snow bank so he tries to jump the bank in front of him.  He gets to the top and falls down the other end, gets up and brushes himself off and walks to his car.  I just stand there looking and wondering how the fuck could this guy be in college.

All in all this could happen every Thursday, and if so this may become my new favorite day of the week.